Wednesday, March 21, 2012


          Dodge ball

“Zoom” a ball passed by my head, It hits a person behind me. It was me, Brody, Lachlan, Stefan and Mr M. We need to catch the ball so Brody catches the ball and smashes it in Tyler Kelly’s belly. Great shot Brody.  Tyler in my team came back in.  Mr M catches the ball. and smashes the ball Into Regan and Jacks back side It six vs two you are go in to be defeated you might as well give up. Too late smash it hits the two people. The end.


  1. Exciting writing, Jacob. It makes the reader feel that they are right in the game of dodgeball.
    I love dodgeball!

  2. Wow Jacob this is amazing I love how you have even got a great picture to match it. Is this when we played against room 19 with the teachers playing?

  3. I love your writing I like some of the words you used like smashes and zoom.

  4. I love your writing it Painted a good picture in the readers head I cant wait to read about what happens next

  5. very good Jacob. I like your describing words

  6. Short and sharp
    cool Jacob
    From Brody